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  Part 6

  Although he knew they were coming, Chakotay couldn't help being amazed at the sight of B'Elanna and Tom, a little the worse for wear, and a Borg. A smiling Borg at that. He could tell by the set of Captain Janeway's shoulders that she, too, was wary, but her voice was even and warm as she said, "Welcome back, you two. Tom, introductions seem to be in order." "Captain Janeway, this is Kynn of the Borg. Former Borg?" He shrugged as he gestured to the alien. "Kynn, this is Captain Janeway. She's our leader." "One individual makes decisions for the collective?" "We aren't a collective in the sense you mean, Kynn," Janeway said, not unkindly. "But I make decisions for the crew as a whole, yes." "We have a request." Kynn was apparently ready to swing into negotiations right there in the transporter room. Janeway held up a hand. "Wait just a moment--before I hear this request, I need to hear this story." Chakotay shook his head slowly as he returned to the table of the conference room; the saga of how the Borg had become individuals had astonished him. Janeway as well, to judge from the pallor of her skin--he unobtrusively slid a cup of herbal tea in front of her before sitting down. She acknowledged him with a quick smile before returning her attention to Kynn. "Your people have made an incredible beginning," she said, "but you still have a long way to go towards understanding compassion and humanity. Kidnapping, mind games, those tactics won't get you far." "We realize that our tactics are poor. We needed to find life forms like you. Life forms who possessed these qualities. Now that we have found you, we can begin to learn." Chakotay shot Janeway a glance across the table. Were they being asked to spend the next few years tutoring Borg on manners and morals? The captain frowned, but before she could speak Kynn finally made his request. "We ask that you allow these two to be assimilated," Kynn said, motioning towards Tom and B'Elanna. "Now, wait just a minute--" Janeway started to rise from her chair. "No, Captain, hear him out," Tom said, as B'Elanna stared at him, slack- jawed. Kynn resumed speaking. "We would not join with them permanently. We realize they would not wish this. We do not wish to cause any more harm." "Temporary assimilation?" Chakotay said. "Towards what end?" "Through joining with their minds, we can learn from their compassion. Their humanity. Their love." Torres felt the blush begin to creep up from her collar, spreading slowly up her face all the way to her hair. Paris cleared his throat. "Ummm, you mean, you'd be one with our minds? Know our innermost thoughts?" "To learn from them, yes." Kynn obviously saw no difficulties with this marvelous plan. Janeway shook her head. "Kynn, this is one of the decisions I cannot make for my people. I could forbid them to do it. I'm tempted to. But something tells me Mr. Paris is determined to try this." "Tom, are you crazy?" B'Elanna said, relieved that nobody was talking about love anymore. He turned back to her. "Hear me out, will you?" Janeway tugged at Chakotay's sleeve. "Let's give them a moment, shall we?" Kynn, after a few seconds, realized he was meant to follow Chakotay and the captain, and did so. Tom and B'Elanna were alone in the room. Before he could begin speaking, Torres shook her head at him. "Oh, no, Paris. No way. You're NEVER going to convince me that this is a good idea!" Tuvok and Kynn were regarding each other with perfect, mirror-image equanimity. Janeway had to suppress a smile. They came to this ship to learn about emotion, so let's see what they make of a Vulcan guide. Next time, ask nicely-- Chakotay was staring back at the doors to the conference room, shaking his head in amazement. "I don't believe it." "Believe what? That Tom's considering this plan?" "No. Well, that too, but, did Kynn say 'love'?" Janeway smiled. "He certainly did." "B'Elanna and Tom?" Chakotay was careful to keep his voice low, but his astonishment was apparent on his face. "They fight all the time! They've always fought. They're in there fighting right now. They can't stand each other--right?" It was Janeway's turn to be astonished. "And you didn't realize what all that fighting was about?" She turned away from him, shaking her head and laughing softly. Men. "Paris, forget it. No," said B'Elanna, rising from her seat. "No," she paused, "no, no, no, no, no." "Does this mean you'll think about it?" But his heart sank. Ah, he thought, it's back to 'Paris' now that we're back on board. "Paris, I will NEVER agree to this." "What if they promise to give you free rein in their engineering system? What about that superdrive?" "You idiotic space cowboy! This is a non-issue! NO!" "But B'Elanna, they need us. They need to learn about friendship, compassion, and, um, other stuff." "I....can't." Now we're getting somewhere. "Can't, or won't?" queried Tom. B'Elanna stared down at the padd on the table in front of her. "You don't understand." "I do understand, B'Elanna. There are things inside your head you're afraid for anyone to hear, because you're afraid to hear them yourself. Isn't that it? Why would you think I wouldn't understand THAT? Because of my sterling Starfleet career? My undivided loyalty to the Maquis? My happy family life?" His sarcasm was not wasted on her. "Maybe it's all those warm personal relationships you have with," she paused, "others." "Maybe with them I just hadn't found what I was looking for." He stood close. Too close. B'Elanna edged toward the door of the conference room. "Hey, things happened over there. We were stressed out. Let's just forget it, okay? I'm going now. I want a hot shower, a nap, and something to eat." She paused by the door. "Tom?" "What?" "Thanks for the party." Kynn did not expect to see Tom Paris without B'Elanna Torres. Tom Paris sat alone in the empty conference room with his eyes shut. "Where is your other?" he said simply. Tom Paris slowly opened his eyes and looked around. No one was present but Kynn. Tom stood, stretched, put his arm around Kynn's shoulder, and tapped his chest over his heart. "Maybe she's here, my friend, maybe she's here." "Say, Kynn, have you ever heard of a game called pool?" Stepping into Sandrine's, B'Elanna almost turned around and walked back out when she saw who was there, but she hesitated just a moment too long and Harry, spotting her standing uncertainly in the doorway, motioned her over. "Join us over here, B'Elanna." Harry Kim sat at a table with Tom Paris and Kynn. As she approached the table, B'Elanna's eyes met Paris'. She was surprised to find no censure there--no accusing glare intended to make her feel guilty over her refusal to assist Kynn and the others. He merely smiled at her and signaled for Sandrine to bring another ale over for her. As Torres sat at the table, Harry said, "Paris was just telling me what happened to you on the Borg ship." Alarmed, B'Elanna's eyes flew to Tom's face. He wouldn't-- Paris shrugged and grinned at her. "I edited it a bit," he reassured her. Still on her guard, B'Elanna took a drink of the ale that Sandrine had set in front of her. Her eyes narrowed as Paris leaned back in his chair, loose and relaxed. He was up to something; she was sure of it. She knew him well enough to know that much about him. Her fears were confirmed moments later when Kynn spoke. "The captain has advised me that you and Tom Paris have decided not to assist us." His voice held disappointment. Torres bristled, and when Harry turned to her, his expression full of optimism and enthusiasm, B'Elanna suddenly saw what Tom had been up to. "Where's your sense of adventure, B'Elanna?" asked Harry. "Here's your chance to make a difference, to help these people. Would it really be so bad?" "Bad?" B'Elanna's voice was full of indignant outrage. They all straightened away from her, even Kynn, who had been warned by Paris and Kim of her temper, when she jumped to her feet, nearly overturning the table in the process. "BAD?! How would you like to have someone go traipsing through your innermost thoughts, analyzing them? No thank you." She addressed Kynn, her voice tight. "You've got Paris. Sift through his brain, what there is of it. What do you need me for?" Paris, once again relaxed and smiling, seemed unaffected by her intended slurs against him, but Kynn looked startled. "You are one," he told B'Elanna. "We require...we need to experience the sensation of your emotions--more specifically, your emotions toward each other. In order to accomplish this, the assimilation requires that both of you participate." Throwing a final glare in their general direction, B'Elanna turned and marched to the exit without another word. The doors slid shut behind her. "I do not understand," said Kynn, looking from Paris to Kim then back to Paris again. Before either man could respond, the holodeck doors slid open and Torres stood there, her whole demeanor defiant. But her voi
ce, when she spoke, was quiet. "All right. I'll do it." She held up a hand as they all made to speak at once. "Not a word," she said sternly. "Let's just get it over with." When she spotted Tom starting to smile at her she added, "I will participate in your little experiment. But when it is finished, it is finished. Understand?" With a glare in Tom's direction she turned on her heel and disappeared down the hall. "Whew! Are you sure you were telling me everything that went on between you two while you were on your little adventure?" asked Harry looking at Tom closely. Paris grinned at Harry and placed an arm around Kynn's shoulders and turned him towards the pool table. "I promised you I would teach you the finer points of pool," remarked Tom. "Maybe we better call the captain, then." "Very funny, Harry, very funny." Harry and Tom laughed and Kynn looked puzzled as he tried to figure out what was going on. He was anxious to get on with the assimilation, but for now, he would observe how this species interacted with one another on a social level. Damn Tom Paris! B'Elanna marched down the corridor, fists clenched. What had he just talked her into doing? And he hadn't even uttered a word, just sat there with that smug grin. And using Harry--Paris knew she had a weakness where Harry was concerned. She was fond of the ensign. He had been her first true friend among the Starfleet crew. It wasn't fair using Harry to spout off all that nonsense about adventure and 'making a difference'. That was the stuff they taught at Starfleet Academy--a place she had left behind long ago. She didn't need to be reminded of it. Still unable to believe she had agreed to this insane assimilation scheme, she barreled into the mess hall, grabbed a tray, slammed it down on the counter and began slamming Neelix's various culinary delights onto it. "Lieutenant?" said Neelix uncertainly, "can I help you?" Glaring at the Talaxian, B'Elanna ground out, "Do you have a sharp knife?" Swallowing nervously at her fierce expression, Neelix said, "A sharp knife? For what, if I may ask?" "I'm going to use it to gut Tom Paris." Sudden understanding lit Neelix's face. "Ahhh. Yes. I heard about you and Tom." Leaning across the counter, her face mere inches from his, she spat, "Just exactly what did you hear?" "Uh, well, that is, you see..." Neelix's expression crumbled. Maybe that had been the wrong thing to say. He had a sudden vision of B'Elanna dragging him over the counter and tossing him across the room. A soft voice behind him caused him to sag with relief. "Good evening, Lieutenant," greeted Kes. "I'm glad to see you're safely back aboard." "Kes!" squeaked Neelix. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Kes, dearest. Are you here for dinner?" Much to Neelix's relief, B'Elanna had backed off when Kes arrived. Attempting to get her anger under control, B'Elanna picked up her dinner tray and headed for a nearby table. She was surprised when Kes joined her. She and Kes hadn't actually spent much time together and were not well acquainted. "May I join you?" asked Kes. Torres indicated the empty seat across from her. When Kes didn't immediately say anything, B'Elanna looked up from her dinner inquiringly. "I understand that the Borg have asked for yours and Tom's assistance." B'Elanna's eyes narrowed. "You've been talking to Paris." Kes shook her head. "Actually, I haven't seen Tom yet." Her large blue eyes seemed to look right through B'Elanna. "You're upset with him. Why?" Shrugging, B'Elanna returned her attention to her dinner, pushing the food around, but not eating any of it. "He wants to help the Borg. I don't." Kes looked puzzled. "You've never struck me as being insensitive." "I'm not insensitive," B'Elanna protested, "just..." Kes smiled understandingly. "Scared?" B'Elanna didn't reply. "I can understand how what the Borg are proposing would be frightening," said Kes, "but I can't think of a more appropriate group of people for them to choose to emulate. You--all of you--amaze me," confided Kes. "You're such a giving people, so full of life. It's no wonder the Borg are drawn to you. You exemplify the one thing that has eluded them. If it hadn't been for your willingness to go that extra step, to give of yourselves and help others, I would most likely still be a prisoner of the Kazon--or dead. Destroying the Caretaker's Array to stop the Kazon from gaining control of it and using it to harm others was a huge sacrifice. It resulted in your being left in the this quadrant with no immediate way home. I've seen people on this crew time and time again give of themselves to help others, including yourself. Is this so different?" Kes reached over and placed a soothing hand over one of B'Elanna's. "I trust you to do the right thing, B'Elanna." After Kes left, B'Elanna sat there, her thoughts in a turmoil. She had made up her mind before she even entered the mess hall that after dinner she would seek Paris out and tell him that she had changed her mind--that she wasn't going to do it. He was asking too much. But was he? Kes...B'Elanna felt ashamed as the Ocampan's words replayed in her head. What if the tables were turned? What if she were the one who needed help and had been refused it? How would she feel? She knew how she would feel. Her childhood had not been easy. There had been times when she HAD needed help and hadn't received it. Years later, when she had been at the end of her rope, a Human--new to the Maquis--had recruited her. HE had helped her. And ever since, Chakotay had never once let her down. Maybe it was time she gave a little of that back. Swallowing her trepidation, she tapped her comm badge. "Computer, location of Lt. Paris." Mikel Hudson took a long pull on his mug of beer. Sure, it wasn't really beer, just synthehol, but it looked like beer, smelled like beer, tasted like beer, and, most importantly, it wasn't Borg beer. That, plus the fact that Tuvok had relieved both him and Simms of duty for twenty-four hours, made him a happy man. Life was good. "Ethan, check it out. Lt. Torres just came in. Man, I would not mess with her. Tell me again what happened while I was separated from you guys." "Mik, I've told you twice already." Over the rim of his mug Hudson watched what appeared to be an argument developing between Lt. Paris, Lt. Torres, Ensign Kim, and the creepy 'ambassador' from the Borg ship. "But she's so...so COLD." "Not when Lt. Paris was kissing her, especially the second time. She looked like one of Neelix's pots about to boil over. You should have seen it." "I wish I HAD seen it. Jeez, Ethe, if I didn't know you better I'd say you were making it all up. I mean, I didn't even guess about those two. Why am I always the last to know anything?" "Last? I'd say you were the second, because I was first, and I just told you. And I suggest you don't tell anybody." "Not even--" "No, especially not her. Remember what Tuvok said at the last Security staff meeting? About discretion? Made me feel like a campus cop, but now I think I get what he was driving at." Hudson looked thoughtful. "Wonder if it'll last?" "Look, she's leaving. Lieutenant Paris must have gotten what he wanted, he looks smug. When I turned in my report, Tuvok told me the Borg want to temporarily assimilate Lieutenant Paris and Lieutenant Torres. Get into their minds. Ask them questions. See what makes them tick." "'Tick?'" "Old Earth expression. Look, now she's coming back." There was a long pause. "Ethe?" "Yeah?" "I think they did that to me." "What?" "Before we got out. I think...When you said that just now...When I was alone with them, I could hear them thinking, 'We have questions.' I told them, 'I will not help you.' And they said something like, 'You will not remember'. But I said, 'No.' And they said, 'OK'." "'OK'? They actually SAID 'OK'?" "Jeez, Ethan, you know what I mean. It wasn't really words. They were thinking at me, and I just heard it." "So if the Lieutenants do this, they may not remember anything about it." "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe not 'til later. Maybe not at all." "We'd better tell Tuvok." Everything was quiet aboard Voyager, which was fine by Paris. He liked to have action, but there were times he longed for just peace and quiet. It was late at night, if there was such a thing aboard a starship, and the lights were in dim mode through out the ship. The only active places were Engineering and on the bridge. Those two places were always manned even in the wee hours of the morning. B'Elanna is most likely sound asleep by now, thought Paris to himself. After their little adventure with the Borg, most of the ship's crew were asleep or at least in their quarters. Too many thoughts were racing through Paris' head at the moment for him to get a restful night's sleep yet. So he just sat on his sofa looking out the window, thinking. He knew what the main problem was, he just didn't know what to do about it. For the first time in his life he was wondering if he could be in l
ove, and it scared him. He felt very unsure of himself, and he hated that feeling. Get a grip, Paris! he thought to himself. Maybe I should come right out and tell her. Tell her what? 'I think maybe I'm in love with you'? Yeah, right, and she would reply by decking me, he thought. Well, Grand always told him that it was all right to see as many women as he wanted to--to have fun, but that it would come to a quick end when he came across the right one. So far it looked like B'Elanna Torres was that one whether she liked it or not. Whether I like it or not! Oh well, no use thinking about it any more tonight, he thought, because there's nothing I can do yet. You need to get some sleep, Thomas my boy. You have a big day tomorrow being assimilated. Heaving a sigh he got up from the sofa and started to his bed. He was just passing the door when the chimes sounded. Who that could be at this time of night? he wondered. Aloud, he said, "Come in." The door opened with a soft whoosh and the object of his thoughts stood there looking ready to bolt back down the hallway where she had come from. Tom closed his eyes for a second and then reopened them just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He took a step backwards to let her pass as she walked in. She stopped in the middle of the room and surveyed the surroundings. This was the first time she had ever been in Tom's quarters and she was curious to see if the decor reflected his personality. "Uhh, hi," Tom fumbled for words. Brilliant, Paris, he thought. That'll really sweep B'Elanna off her feet. He took an awkward step closer to her. "I thought you'd be asleep by now." Another smooth line. He gave her an offhand look, his nervousness carefully concealed. B'Elanna shook her head, and began to pace the floor. "I needed to talk," she said, barely above a whisper. "You--you're the only one who will understand. You know what they did to me." She folded her arms across her chest, and he swore he could see her trembling slightly. Tom's own surprise and nervousness vanished at the sight of B'Elanna's obvious inner turmoil. It was extremely hard to resist the urge to wrap his arms around her in a comforting embrace. But Tom knew she wouldn't accept that from him, it smacked of pity. Instead, he silently watched as she paced his floor, her eyes flashing. "I don't want to be some kind of 'experiment'. I've had enough of that." B'Elanna took deep breaths. She would NOT let him see how close she was to crying, to completely losing her composure. "I'm never going to be able to block those memories, that pain, out of my mind. What if something goes wrong. What if the assimilation is permanent?" She stopped her pacing, and stood very close to him. "I don't want to ever be that vulnerable--that out of control of myself--again. They violated me! You saw them, you heard me scream with pain from the Phage. I'm..." I have to say it, she thought frantically. He's the only one I can tell. "I'm SCARED, Tom." She looked straight into his beautiful blue eyes. "I've never been more scared in my life than I am of reliving what I went through." Tom swallowed hard. His heart broke to hear her talk like this. Her pain was so near, he felt he could touch it. And yet, she'd chosen to confide in him. That must mean something, Tom told himself. I have to help her, somehow ease her fears. B'Elanna resumed her pacing. Paris watched her pace--the same frantic pacing she had done on the Borg ship. "I understand your fear," Tom said softly. "But the Doc and Kes will be there monitoring things, and the Captain and Chakotay will be there too, and Kynn has promised not to do anything against our will. You'll be in control. Anything you don't want to reveal...just slam the door shut. Kynn has promised not to trespass." B'Elanna stopped her pacing to give him a long look. She could see that he was sincere in his belief that this was the right thing to do. She was surprised by the strength of the desire coursing through her that made her want to do this for him--even though she dreaded the whole ordeal. She didn't want to disappoint him. She resumed pacing. Sighing, Tom said, "B'Elanna, if you're uncomfortable doing this, we don't have to do it. I don't want to force you into anything." B'Elanna turned to him, eyes blazing. "One: Nobody FORCES me to do anything. Two: This is important to you. Three: I am nervous, but I do want to help these people." People? thought B'Elanna. When did I stop thinking of them as Borg? Paris smiled, relieved to see the fire back in her eyes. "You won't be alone, I promise. I'll be there with you all the way." "You better believe you will." Suddenly realizing how close they were standing, B'Elanna started to back away. "Well, I better go and let you get some sleep..." Her voice trailed off as Tom grasped her hand in his, not letting her pull away and his other hand reached out toward her. Tom ran a finger down her face in a caress, surprised when she allowed it. Careful not to push things too far too quickly, he didn't pursue the brief touch, only let it linger for a moment as he stared into her eyes. Swallowing nervously, B'Elanna pulled her hand from his and walked to the door. Turning back to him once she reached the it, B'Elanna said in a hushed voice, "See you in the morning." Turning, she exited his quarters. Tom watched the door close behind her. "Sweet dreams, B'Elanna."